Our first child was still in diapers when we bought him his first sports onesie. It was navy with the face of a Nittany lion (an homage to my dad’s alma mater). For a Saturday afternoon football game or a mid-week Euro league rivalry, we looked forward to donning our color-coordinated sports gear, baby included. To be honest, we still do. Beyond the nostalgic effect of buying knock-off jerseys from the teams we love, these kitschy screen-printed clothes are visual representations of a core value that both my husband and I, as former college athletes, hold — namely that we want the world of sports to play a pivotal role in our children’s lives.

Fast forward eight years, we’ve enrolled our eldest in his first competitive soccer league. He’s naturally athletic and enjoys everything that the sport requires: hard work, teachability, and a non-quitting attitude. But with two to three practices a week and one to two games on the weekends, my husband and I quickly observed some of the enduring themes of youth sports begin to emerge: a relentless mantra from coaches to win and be the best, enraged parents on the sidelines when their children “fail” in some way, a prioritization of soccer over all other commitments, and all sorts of unspoken expectations that small children must excel in sports as a determinate for their future success.